We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
either way he was missing a nipple.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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