just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
