If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
