Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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