eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
