i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
