fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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