so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This is classic penis vs brain.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
