I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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