I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize