im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
