You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
