My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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