I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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