SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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