He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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