it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize