I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
