at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
