so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize