And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
