he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
