no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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