East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
