Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
