my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
