Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
