Jerry, you need to find god
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I did not marry a roomba.
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