how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
