do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
