It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
