What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
