I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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