I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
