Define "chronic" masturbator.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
not ubering you a puppy
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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