having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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