well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize