I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
