if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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