It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
