just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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