My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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