i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
