I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
