yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
kristin has been a bad kristin
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
