Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
