If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
