absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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