You can't special order awesome
I look better un-naked...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
