youre lurking in front of me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
