Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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