he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
