But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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