The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
