youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
