I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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