i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
