You really coming over, don't trick.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
