Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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