im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
