i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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